“Nebraska Jim” matched with TransCanada Pipelines
I love tar sands. I wish I had them here at home in Nebraska, so I’m doing all I can to get a piece of the action by building the Keystone XL pipeline through our state.
Luckily for me, pHarmony helped make the connections necessary to see my oily dreams through.
I was nervous when I heard pHarmony was hooking me up with not one, not two but three companies involved in tar sands and Keystone XL. When I showed up for my first all-expenses paid date in Calgary (Canada!), you can only imagine how wild things got…oil companies are pretty dirty, everyone knows that…. ;)
I can’t tell you everything—I didn’t even tell my own constituents—but these oil companies and their Canadian government friends treated me to a flight over the tar sands mines. It was so beautiful, I can still taste the sulfur just thinking about it… They took me out to some nice dinners and even let my legislator friends from other states join me! I felt so comfortable, so important, so…freed from the people of Nebraska! That’s liberty, baby.
After such a wild time in Calgary, I wanted to do something special for TransCanada, Shell and API, so I introduced some legislation to help fast-track the Keystone XL pipeline. It’s the least I could do after all that steak!
You can bet I’ll call ALEC if I ever need help meeting someone in the future—the service is invaluable, and all the secrecy is hot enough to melt the tar right outta my heart!
Nebraska Jim <3
Photo copyright: Nebraska Unicameral Information Office
Photo copyright: TransCanada Corporation